Analogue Girl in a Digital World
I had really bad skin when I was younger. Heck, I'm a young adult and my skin is still not slick and smooth. It affected my self-confidence naturally and found myself over-compensating in other areas of my woman(ness) and intellect. The theory was, if distracted long enough, the person I was interacting with would subconsciously not notice my flaws (because your face is the main point of contact, so acne will without a doubt be noticed).
This caused a build-up of insecurity, awkwardness and blatant putting my sexiness out into the world (still put my sexiness out there, it just has more of a cause now).
Through conversations I was having with a friend of a friend, I discovered I actually don't owe anyone shit. I mean, I know we all have philosophies we live by that resonate or are exactly that, but my epiphany went further than wearing make-up and showing off my luxurious titties (still show them off, again, just with a cause now).
From who I love, how I love, who I'm fucking, how I fuck, if I suck dick, how I dress, if my braids suit my skin tone, if I get fucked up drunk, how I spend my money, if I dance alone in a bar, what career path I'm taking, whom I choose to hang out with, if I decide to disappear for two weeks, I go a whole month without make-up, I go two months wearing tracksuits; I don't owe anyone shit.
People feel entitled to how they think you should live your life, I know numerous people who'd be like "naaah, do your thing", but the judgement you pass onto a fellow human being either on how they are living their life or what they project onto the world, is you feeling entitled to their being.
Example: I don't necessarily shave Mrs. down there, and a couple of weeks ago, friends of mine were seeing me naked and Lord knows the lecture I got tying womaness with having a clean-shaved cookie. Look, I don't have a problem with it, and that's it. That's all that matters really. I don't have a problem with it. Full stop. Finished. Klaar. Eziny'zinto ang'ngeni ndawo.
Now, I ain't no Saint, been there, done that judgement shit too. But as they say, the true teacher of wisdom is experience, I felt violated, abused and vulnerable everytime someone took a piece away from me on the popular excuse of "it's just my opinion".
Fuck your opinion. Leave me out of your thought processes. Let them simmer in your life plan.
I recently got my heart terribly broken. Like heartbreak hotel, Whitney Housten type of broken.
And of course, ya'll know the drill, "I told you so". Lol, it's insane! There are so many rules, principles, ideologies, codes that one has to live by. I'm sick of this shit. Let my heart lead me. Let me live my idea of happiness. Can I just breathe?
Can I have my acne prone skin exposed and just breathe? Can I love who I want and just breathe? Can I buy 5 pairs of high heels and just breathe?
Can I just breathe?
This caused a build-up of insecurity, awkwardness and blatant putting my sexiness out into the world (still put my sexiness out there, it just has more of a cause now).
Through conversations I was having with a friend of a friend, I discovered I actually don't owe anyone shit. I mean, I know we all have philosophies we live by that resonate or are exactly that, but my epiphany went further than wearing make-up and showing off my luxurious titties (still show them off, again, just with a cause now).
From who I love, how I love, who I'm fucking, how I fuck, if I suck dick, how I dress, if my braids suit my skin tone, if I get fucked up drunk, how I spend my money, if I dance alone in a bar, what career path I'm taking, whom I choose to hang out with, if I decide to disappear for two weeks, I go a whole month without make-up, I go two months wearing tracksuits; I don't owe anyone shit.
People feel entitled to how they think you should live your life, I know numerous people who'd be like "naaah, do your thing", but the judgement you pass onto a fellow human being either on how they are living their life or what they project onto the world, is you feeling entitled to their being.
Example: I don't necessarily shave Mrs. down there, and a couple of weeks ago, friends of mine were seeing me naked and Lord knows the lecture I got tying womaness with having a clean-shaved cookie. Look, I don't have a problem with it, and that's it. That's all that matters really. I don't have a problem with it. Full stop. Finished. Klaar. Eziny'zinto ang'ngeni ndawo.
Now, I ain't no Saint, been there, done that judgement shit too. But as they say, the true teacher of wisdom is experience, I felt violated, abused and vulnerable everytime someone took a piece away from me on the popular excuse of "it's just my opinion".
Fuck your opinion. Leave me out of your thought processes. Let them simmer in your life plan.
I recently got my heart terribly broken. Like heartbreak hotel, Whitney Housten type of broken.
And of course, ya'll know the drill, "I told you so". Lol, it's insane! There are so many rules, principles, ideologies, codes that one has to live by. I'm sick of this shit. Let my heart lead me. Let me live my idea of happiness. Can I just breathe?
Can I have my acne prone skin exposed and just breathe? Can I love who I want and just breathe? Can I buy 5 pairs of high heels and just breathe?
Can I just breathe?
At the end of the day, be you, do you.
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